If you're Lebanese or have lived in Lebanon, it is a certainty you've heard the sentence “If you can drive in Lebanon you can drive anywhere.”
While we don’t particularly feel extremely proud of it, we do realize what it entails. Surviving the roads of Lebanon, after all, is an achievement in and of itself.
Here are a few points that will give you an idea of what driving in Lebanon is all about:
1. Let's just start with the over-sized licenses, shall we?
First things first, your driver's license doesn't fit in any of your normal sized wallets. You've even wondered if you should carry it in its own personalized bag.
2. The concept of "flasher" = parking spot
Using a “flasher” (car signal) automatically turns the ground under the car into a parking spot.
It is perfectly fine to park in the middle of the highway to buy loz (almonds) from the merchant by the side of the road while putting the lives of 30 people at risk ... as long as your flasher is on.
Hint: Don’t try honking, it doesn’t work. It will only make people look at you in shock or give you a “taaab mneeeehh“ (it's not a big deal!) look.
3. Every flat surface can become a road
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail," a very popular saying followed dearly by the Lebanese.
Soon later you will find someone following that trail, and then someone else, maybe one more... Isn't that how roads are made anyway?
4. People have trust issues when you give them way
Whether it's a car or a person, when you give other people way, you get strange skeptical looks as if asking: "You're sure about this?", "You're not going to wait for me to cross and then run me over?"
Yes, we certainly do have trust issues.
5. The policeman is one to ask you to break the rules
Don't be surprised if a policeman asks you to cross a red light or go in an opposite direction. It's only normal that the man applying the law is asking you to break the law, right?
*scratches head*
6. Honking is more than a sound, it’s a language
Your zammour (car honk) is your weapon.
It also gives you a chance to freely express yourself (even at the expense of the sleeping population.)
7. The struggle to find coins for park meters is real
You will keep looking for ways to get rid of your coins: water, chewing gum, useless pens, mini cakes - anything works ... until the dark hour comes where you find yourself in front of a parkmeter.
You're on a treasure hunt *Pirates of the Caribbean theme song* looking for those little gold and silver colored pieces.
You may even have to compete with that lady who parked behind you to the nearest dekkeneh (store) to beg for coins.
8. Trucks aka "kamyoun" are a phenomenon
In addition to serving as blow-dryers when passing by while your window is open, trucks are also a source of inspiration like no other.
9. The Bahriye/Autostrade Dilemma
Now that's a daily challenge you put yourself in every single time. Do you take the seaside road or the highway?
Word of caution though, you will get stuck in traffic anyway.
10. Traffic induced existential crises
You go through endless cycles of talking to yourself or to people who can’t hear you while wondering aloud if you’re going crazy.
But it's a national crisis, so you're not alone when stuck in traffic and going insane.