In Arab households, we don't have the traditional "sex" talk at a certain age. No, our parents decide to skip 10 steps and delve right into the topic of "marriage."
At some point in time, you decide to rebel by sharing your dark thoughts with them on the subject.
"What if I don't want to get married," is a declaration of war ... and engaging in such a discussion with your parents is a form of extreme sports.
Here's how:
1. It requires a lengthy thought process
You replay the scene in your head around 32 times before actually finding the courage to do it ... exactly the way it is before you skydive for the first time.
2. Because you know you're putting your life in danger (metaphorically)
You know you are at risk of getting hit with a 'shahata' ... and that weapon is a very dangerous one in Arab households.
But of course, like all extreme sports, it's all about taking the risk because #YOLO.
3. You have to convince them your decision is a "conscious" one
Arab parents look at marriage as a "life goal" rather than a conscious decision ... It's kind of like saying you'd like to go running with the bulls Vs. watching the insanity on YouTube.
4. Endurance is much needed because the fights will never ever end
Training both your brain and body to be tolerant of whatever responses come your way is an essential part of the process. Endurance is everything.
5. You talk to your friends about your thoughts before facing your parents
Your friends start asking you questions to try to give you some perspective. In reality, they realize you won't be changing your mind anytime soon.
6. The adrenaline rush when sitting your parents down for "the talk" is REAL
Heart palpitations, perspiration dripping down your forehead ... it's adrenaline at its finest.
7. Mini-panic attacks take over as soon as you begin the conversation
Once it starts, there is no going back.
8. You kind of know there's a surprise coming for you ...
Hopefully, no deadly surprises.
9. Exhaustion once it's done
You will most likely reach a state of exhaustion at the end of the discussion because you realize you might as well have spoken to a brick wall.
Your parents will most likely end the discussion with a "nshalla kheir" ... suggesting they're in denial, and that's OK ... because you basically did it!