The big fat Arab engagement: a concept that we've been programmed to believe is a milestone waiting to be ticked off the list.
The process normally goes as follows: once you obtain a university degree ... it's time to get engaged. Sadly enough, Arab families anticipate the latter, more so than the former.
This is the case because an engagement confirms you're just one step closer to tying the knot ... God forbid, you choose to remain unmarried...
The engagement ceremony is one that feeds people's high expectations, further perpetuating such a system to remain intact.
Here's why an Arab engagement is really just done to please society:
1. It resembles a public gathering ... to announce that you're dating
An engagement is really just a monetary investment to publicly declare your relationship status in order to settle the minds of the conspiracy theorists who spot you and your significant other in public.
Society holds your "khateeb" in high esteem, while your boyfriend gets thrown under the bus. Why? Because apparently, a fiancé is more "respectful".
However, what's the difference between the two? Thousands of dollars gone to waste for a ring, a ceremony, and souvenirs ... in a nutshell.
2. The false belief that "khateebti" and "khateebi" are more respectful
The process of an engagement is really done out of respect for the families of those involved ... and not for the couple themselves.
Once it's out in the open, it becomes OK and expected to shove your fiancés' name into every single conversation ... even if it is of zero relevance to the topic of discussion.
You must declare you're no longer on the market ... even though you were never on the market to begin with. Oh, wait, sorry a serious exclusive relationship isn't enough...
3. An engagement party is just another way to confirm your "financial comfort" to others
Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars ... just to prove to society that you're financially able to buy a ring, flowers, and serve fancy food.
Once the party is over, the debt begins?
4. You give back to society because you give people a space to compete on extravagance
People live to outrank other people ... and what better way to provide people with an ego boost than your engagement venue?
It's really a low-key competition on who can spend more money to look fancier...
5. It's noise pollution at its finest. The louder you are, the bigger the approval stamp
The louder the music, the ululation, the stomping, the happier the couple is ... or so they believe.
The more noise pollution you contribute to society, the happier your guests will be. The happier your guests ... the more annoyed your neighbors.
It's a double-edged sword because it's impossible to please everyone.
But, since when is the maltreatment of eardrums a sign of happiness?
6. If you don't get engaged, the relationship is doomed?
People refuse to take your relationship seriously (even if you've been dating for 5 years) ... because to them, what is stopping you from taking it a step further?
Is it really that hard to accept the fact that maybe some people just don't want to brand their relationship status with a diamond ring?
7. The expectations add to already existing pressures
Whatever you do in your life, it will always revert back to some marriage-related issue.
Whether you're talking about graduating university, getting a job, or buying a house ... it all boils down to "3a2bel your engagement".
*SIGH*