Instead of calling you by your name, she calls you "ya Mama..."
The look she gives you when you say something wrong in public
When 'inshallah' is her way of saying NO
She always fights for the bill when out with her friends
& leaving her friend's house ends with hourlong conversations at the door
Never giving you a reason as to "why" her decision came about
Because even when she's wrong, she's right
Talking to you about marriage happens all day, everyday
Telling you your partner must be an Arab or you'll miss out
Taking your washed out clothes & using them as dust rags
The never-ending conversations of your life-long career is just draining
Because her and other moms get satisfaction from the one and only "bragging competition"
The phone calls she makes you take with your long lost relatives overseas are just...
But you know if you don't, the slipper will come flying at you!
Because she has the perfect aim
& when this hand gesture comes to life, you know you're officially dead
Same for this one too!
The cure for your headache, stomach ache, whatever ache
Or the conventional remedy
More often than not, unconventional home remedies are the answer
Learning the hard way to stay away from her when you have people coming over for a '3azeema' because she turns into this:
The moment she calls you from the opposite end of the house & then disappears
Hearing her bargain while shopping is a bullet to the head
Having a supply of 'bizir' at home because that's the cure to her anxiety or anger
All hell breaks loose when this happens
Nowadays, the bigger struggle is explaining to her over & over again that zooming in on Instagram is not an option!
But at the end of the day, Arab moms are the coolest ever! You know it, she knows it
