Why is it that some Egyptian women refuse to marry Egyptian men?

In every part of the world, marriage, or relationships in general, are pretty hard to maintain. Issues tend to pop up every now and again and sometimes, it's not really anybody's fault. However, in some parts of the world, some issues are easily avoided, but with the wrong partner, they become inevitable.

Take Egypt for instance, why is it that some Egyptian women refuse to marry Egyptian men? Why do some actively stay away from any sort of relationship with one of them? "I would rather stay single then marry a man from Egypt" is a pretty common thing to hear from young Egyptian women.

Is it the lack of compatibility? Not being familiar with and misjudging one another? Or is it perhaps a misunderstanding of the male mentality in Egyptian society?

All these can be major factors, but what if there are other reasons and how is it that the two sexes can grow in the same culture with the same traditions and yet be so different?

While we can't judge the entire male species in one country based on a "few," we can get a pretty accurate idea of how most of them are like. I mean seriously, would you want to spend your youthful years searching for the "exception" in a country with a 90 million population? I think not.

I hate to generalize, but unfortunately, there are some personality traits that are common in almost all Egyptian men. Judging from my experience with them as friends, family members and romantic ties, some traits cannot be overlooked. Traits such as the need to control, inability to admit to wrongdoings, the tendency to interrupt, the "open-minded" pretense, and the inability to accept that not all women want children serve as major red flags.

I admit, such traits may seem minor at the begining of any relationship. However, they are also traits that make Egyptian women weary of relationships.

For the sake of a good argument, let's break it down and explore every aspect of this perception individually. First, the need to control. Some Egyptian men take it upon themselves to control a woman's life. Everything from what she wears, to who she talks to and what she does for a living is controlled by a man throughout a woman's entire life. First, the father, then the brother or another significant male family member and then a husband.

Why is it that a woman is controlled in this country from the day she is born till the day she sets foot in the grave?

For some, it is the perception that women are an "accessible source of shame" and therefore, her thoughts, her feelings, her movement and every other part of her existence must be controlled until she is married off. Once the woman is married, the cycle restarts and its the husband's turn to dictate how she lives her life.

Who would want to live like that?

The inability to admit wrongdoing in any relationship is disastrous because one member is made to feel like their feelings don't really matter to the other person in the relationship. If this is a continuous act, the other person is eventually made to feel that they really don't matter. Confidence and self respect will go out the window resulting in a never ending cycle of settling down for less than what they deserve.

Egyptian men are unable to admit when they do something wrong because they fear that by admitting it, they become less and therefore equal to women. This all stems from the fact that men are given a higher importance from the day they are born. Unfortunately, this is evident in many Egyptian families and can even be seen in a brother and sister relationship.

Another "minor" issue is the Egyptian man's tendency to interrupt women. This is not only seen as a sign of disrespect but more often than not, this tendency to interrupt often turn to violent outbursts. Picture this for a second, you're having a conversation with your boyfriend and you're telling him something you're interested in or something that's bothering you. Instead of actively listening to you, he interrupts you on more than one occasion.

Now, picture this scenario: You two are in the middle of an argument or you're saying something he doesn't particularly like. Instead of having a debate or an active conversation between two level headed adults, he starts to yell and scream leaving you feeling unheard and most importantly, frightened.

Would this be an atmosphere you want to live in and/or raise a child in?

For the most part in Egyptian society, women and men, especially of this generation and the younger ones, seem to be a bit more "Westernized" than your average Egyptian. Within a certain circle of "trusted" people, women are now able to do things that are otherwise deemed "wrong" or "shameful."

Sadly however, it is all a cloud of pretense.

Men will go out drinking with their female friends but will absolutely refuse to marry one of them because of that very fact. Men will sleep with women but refuse to marry them because they are no longer virgins. Men would hug, cuddle, or have any sort of physical contact with a woman but would refuse to be with her because "other men did the same thing" and therefore, there is "nothing special" about her.

That's Egyptian logic for you.

Before getting married and/or committed to a serious relationship, there are a few things that need to be hashed out and cleared up at the very beginning. Having children is one of those things that both partners need to mutually want or don't want. Being coerced into one of these options will definitely end the relationship on a bad note.

Yes, God created women with ovaries and a uterus which enables them to bear children. That does not mean that every woman that is able to bear children wants to actually have children. No, it doesn't mean we're going against God's will.

Egyptian men however, don't see it that way. The idea of them not having children is simply ridiculous because how else will they leave their legacy to continue after they're gone? Err, I don't know. Perhaps do good in the world and leave a positive mark?