This is what your job in the UAE says about you

Your car is your office, but your boss still wants to see your pretty face IN the actual office. 

You know every exit and speed camera on Al Khail Road but still get lost and fined. You have Dubizzle and Property Finder in your favorites. The words: “crises” and “recession” give you migraines. You constantly find yourself answering weird questions from tenants such as: “Is The Palm really sinking?” or “How much will my DEWA bill be?” 

You think of quitting your job every day, but change your mind when you sell another villa in Arabian Ranches and cash the bonus!

After finally quitting from Fitness First and sorting out your visa, you are happy to become your own boss! So you start an Instagram page (a yoga pose with Burj Al Arab in the background is mandatory) and give free circuit training sessions in places like Skydive and Burj Park. 

Your clients range from "Jumeirah Janes" who have four insanely blond toddlers, to demotivated clients who cancel five minutes before the class ... because “stuck in traffic." 

You add Crossfit to your resume to attract more clients and you're currently looking for a local dairy or juice brand to sponsor you.

You think you are overworked and underpaid. The only thing that’s keeping you in your job is the free rent and the midterm breaks which you use to travel to nearby Sri Lanka and Bali. 

You are constantly looking for vacancies in the schools where all the Sheikhs’ children go. Your biggest worry is bumping into one of your students’ parents after a heavy Friday brunch!

Everybody wants your job! 

But they don’t know how much you fought to sort out your UAE visa, house rent, car papers and other financial responsibilities. You know all the cafes that accept Emirates NBD discounts or Entertainer. 

You also now drive on the Hatta-Oman road with your eyes closed.

People think you finish work at 3pm (which you probably do) and think your salary is 30 thousand plus (which it probably is). 

Your friends might turn to you if they want “wasta” or a job (as if you have the royal Dewan on speed dial!) 

You sometimes don’t like to mention that you work for the government in fear of “bad eye,” but you love your job and wouldn’t change it for the world!

 Your day starts with a breakfast in La Serre to celebrate a new product launch, followed by a fashion event in Mall of Emirates. Then you're sampling the new afternoon tea menu in Burj Khalifa’s Atmosphere. To finish off the busy day, there's a VIP dinner with a famous designer in a five star hotel. 

But, because people in UAE might not take your job (or you) seriously ... you decide to take a few photography, makeup or even DJ-ing classes to add an approved and respected profession to your Instagram bio.

One word here: GOLF! 

It doesn’t matter what company you work for or if you know why on earth you are getting paid 100 thousand dirhams a month or not, one thing is for sure: you are a GOLFER! Or you had to become one, because all other CEO’s in the UAE are! 

You probably live in a five bedroom villa in the Meadows or Emirates Hills. You still can’t believe that you get gym and pet allowance! The UAE is your la la land and you should never leave! 

Most people feel sorry for you because they think you don’t have an actual job and don’t have enough money to pay your bills. 

You spend most of your time in Al Bastakiya and Al Serkal Avenue and meet your friends at Tom & Serge. 

Your biggest moment is when you get featured in Brown Book magazine or get interviewed by Gulf News.