In the latest episode of "policing women's bodies, actions and appearances," one misogynist thought it would be a good idea to voice his revolting views in a tweet open to the public.
The man seems to be a member of the self-proclaimed halal police squad, a group of men who feel entitled to patrol women's personal choices. This is not to say he's not authorized to have an opinion. But, a checklist based on a degrading rhetoric that treats women as servants to men is not an opinion. It is a compilation of gender-role stereotypes wrapped up in machismo and misogyny.
In his so-called checklist, titled "how to be Muslim wife material," the patriarchal fertilizer (a nickname I will use to address the man in the text below) advises women to be a number of things if she wants to qualify as a good spouse. These include:
I could probably understand the "pray your 5 on time" and "be religiously literate" as things he, himself, and him would like to see in his potential partner. One's religious beliefs are a personal choice and seeking a partner who is on the same religious wave length as yourself is a priority for some people. So, I understand where he comes from with these two points. But, putting these two things under a checklist for "Muslim wife material" is something I cannot and will never understand.
If the two individuals are OK with each other's religious beliefs and expressions of those beliefs, then where is the problem? Saying a woman MUST be religiously literate in order to make a good wife is a generalization at best, and illiterate at worst. It's not a man's - nor anyone's - job to tell women what to believe and how to express those beliefs. If the patriarchal fertilizer is not OK with that, that's his choice. But, it doesn't mean all men, religious or not, want the same thing. It certainly doesn't mean going against those things makes a Muslim woman a "bad wife."
Moving on to other items on the checklist that flat-out police women's bodies and actions: "Be A Hijabi," "Be A Virgin," and "Be Thin" are just three points mentioned in his long-list of hatred towards women.
In the world of the so-called halal police - to which the patriarchal fertilizer belongs to - women are shamed for exploring their sexuality, whereas men are not only praised but encouraged to do so. In that world, men's haram tally are - more often than not - overlooked as blame is shifted on women, particularly when it comes to their choice of attire. There's no such thing as modest enough for members of the self-proclaimed halal police. And anyway, why are men so preoccupied with what women wear and don't wear? Reveal, conceal, whatever the choice - is a woman's choice. So, stop policing our wardrobe. Stop mansplaining modesty to us. Instead, lower your gaze, seal your mouth, and disappear. Thank you.
In the world of body-shaming monsters - to which the patriarchal fertilizer also belongs to - women are shamed for having a body that is not conforming to the hegemonic (and unrealistic) standards. On top of that, women are expected to get pregnant, give birth, and still maintain an unrealistic body figure. Pregnancy changes a woman's body, and there's no escaping it. As long as one's health is not at risk, who's to dictate what an ideal body for a woman is? Hint: No one.
Now, the patriarchal fertilizer's list doesn't just shame women. It frames women as second-class citizens whose sole existence is to please men.
Be obedient to husband? Be a good cook?
We are not service providers. We weren't born with a "good cook" gene. And we certainly shouldn't be obedient. We stand up for ourselves just like any human would, and slam the door shut when necessary. We get angry, we scream, we voice our concerns, and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it. Humans are entitled to emotions and expressions, and anyway, isn't that what strengthens relationships?
Well, apparently, the patriarchal fertilizer misunderstands the concept of relationships. He thinks relationships are about dominance, authority, and power. Relationships and dictatorships are not synonyms, sir.
Also, the patriarchal fertilizer believes the alpha male is a REAL thing. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not how it works. Relationships are a two-way thing. Power, authority, and dominance don't exist in relationships. Those are things that describe dictatorships - and dictatorships often result in revolutions. So, maybe, just maybe, you should start revolutionizing your mentality? Planet Earth doesn't need misogynists like you. Women certainly don't WANT someone like you in their lives. So, do yourself and us a favor, and leave your lectures to yourself.
On a final note, the patriarchal fertilizer seems to have a rare case of feminist-phobia. His masculinity is so fragile that he fears women.
Feminism is all about women's rights, and telling a woman "not to be a feminist" encourages the erasure of women's voices. We are not silent - not today, not tomorrow, not ever - and we will never be silenced. We have vocal cords for a reason and we will scream at the top of our lungs just to send a message across. There is no stopping us, believe me. The battle against men like you has been ongoing for decades, and it won't stop till men like you vanish. We are not objects, we are not second-class citizens, we are not service providers. We are strong, fierce, and powerful fighters.
Patriarchal Fertilizer: If you don't have anything valuable to say next time, please spare us the vile sighting from our timelines. Thank you.
Lots of hate,