Imagine an Egyptian film starring Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, alongside the acclaimed Fifi Abdu, Karima Mukhtar, and American television talk show host Charlie Rose.
The story centers on the separation of a young man (Brad) from his wife (Jennifer) after a new woman enters his life (Angelina). He marries the new woman, but as fate and Egyptian hyper-drama would have it, the ex-mother in law (Karima Mukhtar) sends evil Du'a's to the universe, leading to yet another tragic divorce.
The film's director announced the launch of this sure-to-be blockbuster this evening. "It's going to shatter the earth and then rebuild it," he said.
He added that rumors that the divorce was the result of a 10 year-in-the-making act of vengeance on Jennifer's part were "completely false."
The director said that the film aimed to educate youth about the importance of "virtue at a time when real ethics are hard to come by."
"[The film] will breathe new life back into Egyptian cinema that has been struggling to keep its head over water in the last few years," he added.
The following is a visual synopsis of the film "Love & Virtue" starring Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.
1. Brad "enters through the front door" as any respectable man would to ask for Jennifer's hand.
Good evening of flowers!
2. He speaks to Jennifer's dad (Charlie Rose) alone to get his blessings.
I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand, as God and his Prophet have ordained
3. Um Jennifer (Fifi) is overjoyed. She was deadly afraid that her daughter would end up 'Anes/an old maid.
4. Jennifer finds out about Brad's affair with her friend, Angelina and demands a divorce.
You're cheating on me?! And with who?! My friend ANGELINA?
5. The news hits Um Jennifer like a truck on a highway.
O blackest of days! My own daughter! Divorcing!
6. She decides to rise above social unthinkables and support her daughter through this difficult time.
You'll come live with us! Don't you pay him no mind! 1,000 men would die to be with you!
7. Angelina prepares the wedding festivities.
8. Jennifer's friends are there for her as she wallows in her misery.
God will punish her ... that Angelina.
9. Meanwhile, Um Jennifer unleashes a flood of du'a on Angelina.
May you endure God's wrath ya Angelina ya Jolie ya homewrecker ya man kidnapper.
11. Then...an unexpected turn of events. Angelina's mother moves in to help her care for the children.
We're all going to live together so happily.
12. This doesn't please Brad. It's not long before he moves out.
As God is my witness, I'll leave the house all to her and I'm out of there.
13. Brad threatens Angelina with divorce if his mother-in-law doesn't leave the house.
14. Um Angelina stands her ground and her daughter backs her up. "Kol shi Qisma w Naseeb," says Angelina.
Enough of this! My daughter's house is my house. And if you don't like it, the door is big enough for a camel.