Even though astrology isn't all it's made up to be, it does have certain followers who believe in the alignment of the stars and their influence on love and life.
Since all zodiac signs have unmissable characteristic traits, it's fun to imagine them as Lebanese guys we've had the misfortune to meet.
Here's the embodiment of each sign if they were Lebanese f*ckboys:
1. Aries (March 21st - April 19th) - The “Jagual” type
He sees himself as the neighborhood's badass.
One of his favorite hobbies is taking selfies at the gym or in his BMW... because everyone should know how masculine he is.
It is almost certain he’s going to ask for nudes the first time you text him.
2. Taurus (April 20th - May 21st) - The “come over, I’ll cook for you” type
This guy will woo you with his cooking skills and a romantic candle-lit dinner. He will insist on inviting you over for the following reasons:
a- He doesn’t have to spend money on you.
b- His bedroom is just a few meters away.
You may enjoy that free meal and the shower of compliments, but don’t expect him to call the next morning.
3. Gemini (May 22nd - June 21st ) - The “babe, she’s just a friend” type
One minute you’re the only girl for him, the other he's texting “are you free tonight?” to his exes.
If you decide to confront him, a two-hour lecture on the importance of trust will follow.
He will also probably break up with you in a text message because “it was just not meant to be” and he's too busy getting ready for a date.
4. Cancer (June 22nd - July 22nd) - The “leh ma 3am bet3abrine?” type
This guy has attachment issues and will act very passive if you don’t reply to his text within two seconds.
He'll send you any cheesy, romantic Arabic song that comes his way and will bombard your phone if you’re too busy to see him.
It's either rainbow land or the pits of hell with this guy until he blocks you forever over the tiniest inconvenience.
5. Leo (July 23rd - August 22nd) - The “sexy and I know it” type
He’s always out with his friends, partying and exploring every nightclub in Lebanon.
Social media is one of his interests... as well as uploading pictures captioned “about last night” with as many girls as possible.
This guy can’t be in a relationship because he’s already committed to his own needs.
6. Virgo (August 23rd - September 22nd) - The “rejjel l bet” type
He's educated, smart, and nice... so you end up thinking there’s nothing wrong with him. That’s because there isn’t much about him.
He’s a bit dull but he’ll pay for every date since houwe el rejjel (he’s the man).
He’ll low-key judge your outfit, hair, nails, bachelor degree, that one painting you drew in first grade, etc...
Don't be surprised if he sets rules for you to follow: "be home by 10," "don’t go out with that person," or "don’t forget to call me before you sleep."
7. Libra (September 23rd - October 22nd) - The “free bird” type
He's the charming, charismatic boy next door who will ask you out on a couple of cute dates.
Even though things go well between you two, he’ll most likely tell you “not to rush things”... so you end up being a secret of his, never meeting his friends or vice versa.
And when he's bored of you and ready for the next victim, he’ll give you the sweetest rejection of all time: “ente metel ekhte” (you’re like a sister to me).
8. Scorpio (October 23rd - November 22nd) - The “I will find you and I will kill you” type
This is a reverse fairy tale where prince charming turns into the beast.
If he texts you at 7:13 P.M. and your last seen on WhatsApp is 7:15 P.M., you will go through a ruthless investigation: “What are you doing?”, “Who are you talking to?”, “Where are you?”, “Are you out with another guy?”
He will buy you flowers on the first date, but don't you dare think of breaking up with him, or else.
9. Sagittarius (November 23rd - December 21st) - The “Mr. Popular” type
The guy is on Tinder with shirtless selfies and statuses like “party hard,” “love adventure,” and “looking for fun ;)"... so you know for sure he’s swiping right on every girl he finds.
When he says things such as “bheb l benet l open-minded” (I like open-minded girls,) he means he wants to be with you and five other girls at the same time.
10. Capricorn (November 23rd - December 21st) - The “Daddy” type
He probably works as a lawyer or in a bank and likes to date younger girls because “ana brabbiyun 3a ideh” (I’ll raise them myself).
He'll invite you over to his chalet, buy you jewelry, and sweet-talk you.
As you think all is going well, you discover he's married with kids and his name isn't actually Samir.
11. Aquarius (January 21st - February 18th) - The “ma badde e2zike” type
He’s a hipster who believes love is some sort of cosmic power... which basically translates to "I like having many friends with benefits without consequences."
He dramatically exposes his emotions until he pushes you away because he hurts those who love him.
So you're left hanging by a thread, not knowing what to make of yourself.
12. Pisces (February 19th - March 20th) - The “mommy’s boy” type
This guy was either hugged too much by his mom or not at all... whatever the case may be, he will need you to take care of him.
Every argument will turn into a telenovela where he’s the victim and you’re the villain.
You should also keep in mind that his mom knows every single detail about your relationship, even the dirty ones.