Dear sexist Arab men: Cooking for you is not what makes a woman a 'wife'

When will this ever be over? Some sexist Arabs continue to reinforce messed up gender-roles, a concept that should have disappeared by this century.

Debates - online or offline - about whether cooking is a pre-requisite for women before marriage are all too common. Namecalling women who don't make breakfast for their partners seems to be quite widespread too. 

The latter was brought to our attention this week after a tweet surfaced online. It started when Kuwaiti tweep known as Salem uploaded a post asking: 

"Question, a wife is sleeping and her husband goes to work without breakfast. What do you call this woman? Debate this with respect."

The user's question caught the attention of local news pages on Twitter, sparking a heated controversy.

Questions such as this one aren't only uncalled for but are also incredibly offensive to women. 

The sexist notion that the *only* role a woman can have in the Arab world is one where she takes care of a husband (because God Forbid we choose not to get married) and a household (because God Forbid the man comes in contact with laundry, right?!) is not acceptable. 

Women can fight for themselves, can work to support themselves and their families, and can contribute to society in ways sexist men will never fathom. And you know what? We don't live for such men. So no, we're not going to let anyone judge us based on whether we make breakfast for a man or not. He's a grown up and should (at least) be able to feed himself. 

"She'll be considered (disobedient) under Islamic Sharia, except if she has an excuse (illness, fatigue, any other legitimate excuse)." 

Many responded to the question by labeling women who don't make *feed husbands* as "disobedient" and "disrespectful." 

"His wife must make him breakfast no matter what. Why is she his wife if she won't serve him, who'll serve him if she doesn't?" one tweep wrote. 

Another claimed that women who don't make breakfast for their husbands are not in love. Some said women who don't cater to all their husband's needs makes way for the man to take on a second wife. 

"He has a right to call her his first wife after a month," someone wrote in their response. 

The worst part is some people are using religion to spread some kind of false rhetoric, with claims such as "Islam obliges a wife to be a sort of servant to her husband," when that's far from the truth.

"I don't know... does the dear husband have arms? Feet? Eyes? Can he walk and move around and get his work done? Then he can certainly make his own breakfast and if she cooked it for him, that's because she lovingly chose to." 

Women, in particular, did not let men spread their vile narratives. Instead, they hit back at the demeaning remarks with facts. With truth. Misogynistic ideologies should always be challenged - and shoved down the toilet - where they belong. A woman's role is not limited to the kitchen, household, or anywhere else, nor should it be defined by what a patriarchal society deems as the norm. 

One tweep sarcastically pointed that out in a tongue-in-cheek tweet in which she wrote: "What do you call a husband who wakes up before his wife and heads to work without making her breakfast?"

Marriage is a partnership between a man and woman, not a binding contract forcing a wife to do everything for her husband.

So let's hope we no longer have to state the obvious and constantly reassert that we aren't obliged to serve our partners or any other male for that matter.