7 things to expect when a valet returns your car

If you have been driving in Lebanon, you are pretty familiar with how impossible it is to find a place to park your car that hasn't been taken over by valets.

Try grabbing a drink or a bite with a friend in Mar Mikhael or Gemmayze, be it day or night, and you will be swarmed by men desperate to valet park your car.

Locust season? No, those are just the valet men claiming your car and practically leaving you with no option.

Here is what you can expect when you give your car to a valet:

Regardless of how much time you have spent trying to adjust your seat to get it perfectly how you want it, do not bother. It is guaranteed your seat will be readjusted.

Have your favorite radio station tuned in or your favorite CD playing? Mr. Valet believes you should start listening to Sawt El Noujoum.

Stalk up on some car air freshener because trust me, you will be needing it. Be it really bad BO or the release of gas, you will not regret investing in some really strong air freshener.

Keeping some loose change in your armrest for when it might come in handy like trying to help a homeless person or guaranteeing payment for parking meters? Yeah…you can forget it! Mr. Kleptomaniac believes it is his right to snatch it. Do not bother asking about it because you WILL get yelled at.

Now, we all know that the price of giving your car to valet is 5,000 lira ($3.33), a pretty reasonable amount for this forced service. However, being asked for extra or the valet claiming that there is no change to return should be expected.

If your car happens to be a 2016 model, you are one of the lucky ones that can wine and dine comfortably knowing that your car literally sits on the pavement right in front of the place you are at. If you happen to own a car that is less extravagant, expect to wait 15 to 20 minutes for its return. Only God knows in what ditch it is parked.

Not so often, but very possible, you will get a car that simply is NOT yours. Same model and color, just wait for it before you get too excited. Either check the license plate before you get in or open the door and grab a glimpse of your car before you drive off.