So, the >United States and the >United Kingdom have both announced an "electronics ban" - restricting passengers flying from a number of >Arab countries and airlines from carrying certain devices on flight.
The ban is being described as an anti-terrorism precautionary measure.
But, if the airport screening process is not advanced enough to distinguish a laptop from an explosive device, then maybe that's the actual problem?
In any case, they're banning the wrong devices. And here's what we think the list should include.
1. Let's start with *flying carpets*
These flying carpets help us Arabs move around between states, between countries, between continents - and we never get screened up in the air!
Be sure to ban these from production, IMMEDIATELY, or otherwise it's flying carpet stocks up, plane ticket prices down.
2. Arab mothers should be screened for 'shebsheb'
These slippers look as though they're harmless, but trust me the burns have the ability to numb the skin for years.
3. Camels are our alternative mode of transportation ... BAN THEM RIGHT NOW
You wouldn't want us to get across the United States border ... on camels, would you? Because we all have them right outside our doors.
4. The long pinky finger nail that is sharper than a steak-knife
Some Arab guys specialize in growing a long pinky finger nail ... You seriously do not want this sharp object on an airplane.
5. We love going to war with evil spirits ... and bakhour is the go-to weapon of choice
When the evil eye strikes, our only weapon is "bakhour" ... and it's the strongest weapon on the entire planet!
6. Shatafa AKA water rockets
The power hose, rockets ... all these things have got nothing on our shatafa. NOTHING.
7. This hand gesture ... it's more dangerous than you think
When you see this gesture it definitely means something bad is about to happen.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU SEE IT. Seriously.
8. This one is a sign of ultimate doom
For us Arabs, this hand gesture puts the fear of God into our hearts, and don't our mothers know it! Alongside the trusty shebsheb (refer to #2), Arab moms use this hand gesture to silently threaten us into submission. They usually do it in front of a sea of people, just for that extra oomph... and they will definitely do it to you!