For Arabic language speakers and readers, Egyptian media and newspapers are often, if not most of the time, highly entertaining. From funny to the downright ridiculously absurd headlines and everything in between, Egyptian publications prove time and time again that they really do need to reconsider the wording of topics.
Here's just a few I came across while reading the news with morning cup of coffee.
1. "Tamer Abdel Moneim to the '0' student: I am bored with you."
Mariam Mallak, who allegedly scored a zero on all her secondary exams, have been actively and publicly fighting these allegations. This Tamer Abdel Moneim, who is a renowned Egyptian actor, went on a rant and attacked the young student, making this cruel headline .
2. "The Minister of Religious Affairs wants Sisi nominated for the Nobel Prize because he saved the country from terrorism"
Really? Major eye-roll moment happened while reading this headline .
3. "A fish that was last seen over 200 years ago reappears and its teeth resemble a shaving razor"
I am not exactly sure how this resembles a razor but I do have to admit, the headline made me giggle.
4. "Bassem Morsi: I make sure to blow-dry my hair and Amr Gamal is always the one doing it for me. We both like to blow dry each other's hair"
I am not even sure why this is newsworthy to be honest, but this utterly ridiculous headline made me think of something the Kardashians woulds say.
5. "McDonalds: Our food may cause cancer"
At least this headline was brutally honest.
6. "You can now buy sheep to slaughter in Eid with installments up to 12 months"
Okay, putting aside that I am an avid animal rights activist and completely against slaughter of animals, why would people who are unable to pay the bare minimum to survive put themselves in debt for something half the country is able to afford? This headline is offensive and serves as a disturbing indicator on how this country is actually operating.
7. "Electrician running for a seat in the parliament: I nominated myself because I have a lot of free time now that my children got married"
Well alright the, good sir! Perhaps the headline will work in your favor.
8."Sherif Madkoor attacks critics: To whoever calls me bad names I will do the same"
Yikes! Beware, critics. Sherif Madkoor means business according this incredibly threatening headline .
9."Gas workers fail to control the leak in Faisel area: We are scared to dig"
In all fairness, their fears are not unwarranted. As pointed out by this headline, an explosion might occur. Perhaps making the wording a tad less condescending to the people who are risking their lives with virtually no benefits and pennies for salaries is a good idea.
10. "Mortada Mansour to the Head of Ahly Football team: I don't have time to cuddle or spoil players"
What if they really needed a hug or a cuddle to boost their morale? Tisk, cold response from Mortada Mansour as pointed out by this unapologetic and equally snarky headline .