People complain about how Cairo drains all the happiness from them, that it extinguishes their enthusiasm for life. Fear not, oh downtrodden youth!
This post will show you the bright side of Cairo traffic that you know and love so well.
1. It allows you to swim in the pee-warm pool of self regret for hours
You thought you were better than checking google maps or bey2ollak? You thought the traffic would be ok? Enjoy your swim, take in a floaty or a cocktail because you'll be there for a while.
2. Being forced to choose between listening to some mediocre radio station or nothing at all, because your phone just died
Better yet, roll down your window and listen to what the person in the car next to you is blasting. Inhale those car fumes while you're at it. Ah yes, life is good.
3. Gives you enough time to nail your seated dance routines to songs you hate
Can you say, car-dance-party-for-1? Who needs legs when your arms and torso can express everything you’ve ever wanted to say?
4. Triggers memories of every other time you were annoyed and trapped inside your car
Cairo traffic helps you relive your darkest moments of self doubt and borderline insanity at a glacial pace. A downward spiral if there ever was one.
5. Helps break down the rigid ideas you have of socially acceptable behavior
After a decent amount of time stuck in traffic you shouldn’t be able to tell if nose-poking in public is wrong or not. Maybe public urination isn’t so bad after all! I know your parents told you otherwise, but everybody seems to be doing it, right?
6. Being caught in the adrenaline fueled time warp of desperately not wanting to be late
Sweaty palms, shallow breaths, as if that will help you get to where you need to be. This physical state will make every minute pass as though it were ten.
7. The stress of bad driving and being stuck in traffic can shorten your lifespan
This means the more you drive in Cairo ... the sooner you'll die, thus releasing you from the sweaty, smelly hell that is bad traffic.