Whatever your view on online dating is, you can’t deny that it almost became the easiest and most common way to meet a romantic interest these days, especially in a place like the United Arab Emirates where finding a decent partner is a struggle many residents face for a lot of reasons .
Exchanging numbers with a total stranger then meeting them and discussing personal topics with them right off the bat is a completely normal practice in the age of dating apps, such as Tinder and Happn.
But that practice we do has its own steps, stages and rituals… and almost anyone who uses these apps goes through them and can identify with them. Although some dating apps are blocked in the UAE, single people can still find a way to use them and possibly meet “The One”... or the creepiest single person on the planet!
So, here are the stages of a Happn/Tinder date in the UAE, from a female point of view. Male version coming soon...
1. OK I will download this app for just one day just to see what all the fuss is about
2. I want a bio and photos that say...
“I am a decent and smart woman who is here because she can’t meet nice men in real life and I’m not interested in hook ups and I don’t want to be judged for using dating apps.”
3. Oh it’s interesting… I think I will keep it for another day
4. OMG this is my colleague! But he’s married! Block! Block! Block!
5. I’m not comfortable with this concept… judging people on how they look… it’s so degrading… oh here’s a cute one! Hello handsome!
6. OK we matched… I’ll wait for him to text first because I’m still old fashioned that way and men should always make the first move.
7. It is day three since we matched and he still hasn’t texted… why is he so arrogant?
8. OK FINE! I’ll text first… I mean, men and women are equal these days and there is nothing wrong with women taking the lead.
9. Oh here’s another match… he’s nice but I still prefer the arrogant guy
10. He texted immediately… what is wrong with him? Why so eager?
11. OK he’s texting too much and his third tooth looks weird… block!
12. A reply from Mr. Arrogant! #HappyDance
13- I will ignore his message for a couple of hours just to make him know I’m not too keen... and that I have other things to do than check my phone every two minutes.
14. He’s asking to switch to Whatsapp… but that’s too personal!
15. OK I’ll give him my number and I can always block him if he turns out to be a psycho.
16. Oh crap! He’s calling! Who still calls these days! I’m gonna let that go to voicemail even though no one uses voicemail in the UAE.
17. He invited me for drinks in Zuma! He’s got style… and an expensive taste!
18. Oh, he’s a bit shorter than the pictures… but it’s fine… I’m not a judgmental person
19. Wow, the date went well… we talked about everything for four hours! We have so much in common!
20. Is it ok to send a “sweet dreams” text after the date or does that make me sound too clingy and needy?
I’ll just wait for him to text.
21. A previous match is asking me out on a date in Barasti… Hell no my friend!
Now I know what type of man you are and I don’t ever want to meet you.
22. No text from Mr. Short Arrogant… maybe he’s following the "three days" rule.
23. It has been a week since our date and still no text although he was active just 5 minutes ago!
24. But I thought we clicked and had a good time! He even CALLED ME! What is wrong with men?! What do they want?
If I were a nasty and mean gold digger he would have been all over me right now.
25. Is it because I said I don’t want “just fun” and that I am interested in a serious relationship?
26. OK, men on this app are weird, selfish, shallow players who can’t see a good girl even if she head butts them!
27. Goodbye Mr. Arrogant and enjoy the block… you were too short for me anyway and your breath stinks!
28- Meeting Leonardo DiCaprio and marrying him seems easier than finding a decent date in the UAE who doesn’t want “just fun” and isn’t afraid of clever and independent women and will not turn into a ghost after what seemed to be the perfect date…
uninstall app… mic drop!