16 things not to say to sexual assault victims

Victims of sexual assault often feel guilty and ashamed even though they know, for a matter of fact, that they are not to be blamed for their ordeal. Sometimes however, in an attempt to help, people say things that only make it worse for the victim, making them feel more alone, misunderstood, and judged.

As a person who was unfortunate enough to deal with this very recently, I will use my experience to highlight just a few things that were said and explain why some things only add negativity to a situation that is already horrible.

What we were wearing when we were sexually assaulted is not, and never will be, a cause, a reason or an excuse to be sexually assaulted.

A victim never "allowed" this to happen and insinuating that we did only makes us feel judged.

Again, alcohol consumption has absolutely nothing to do with being sexually assaulted. It only makes the victim an easier target to a predator that's already around and hunting.

Trust doesn't come easy to a lot of people in the world and therefore, if the victim truly trusted someone, you have to believe that never in a million years would they have anticipated what was about to happen.

This is not a solution nor will it ever be. The solution is to break the stigma revolving sexual assault victims and enable us to speak up about our experiences and stand against our assailants.

That's like asking someone if they're sure they're breathing. Yes, victims are a 100 percent sure we're not "mistaken" and we thought about speaking up a thousand times before actually telling someone.

Sexual assault is one of the most common crimes in Egypt and according to the Egyptian Center of Women Rights, more than 200,000 cases of sexual assault are reported annually in the country. Can you honestly tell me that all these women, were not veiled? Really?

The victim may be one of thousands of people from around the world who went through the same thing but their story, their feelings and their thoughts, still matter. It is a big deal and it will remain a big deal until people start addressing the issue head on.

Victims want empathy and sympathy. We want to feel understood, secure, and less alone.

While we appreciate you feeling angry over this ugly situation, addressing your emotions and your thoughts to someone who is struggling to make sense of everything only makes us feel unheard. It comes off as our feelings are being dismissed, like our feelings are less important.

Having a male figure in a victim's life doesn't make people from sexual assault.

We are not defined by our assaults and we are not damaged goods.

We are aware of how common this crime is and that doesn't make it any better. If anything, it makes it worse because it's like saying our struggle is less painful, like we're not allowed to feel horrible about being sexually assaulted.

We would go back in time to change the situation and no matter how hard we try to "pretend," that sick feeling in our stomachs always remains.

When you say that someone who was sexually assaulted it is a literal attempt to obliterate their feelings of violation, anguish, and pain.

We will not be silenced about being sexually assaulted because we refuse to conform to society's norms.