Iconic, contrast-filled, and mysterious: the Lebanese man! We've all had our experiences with the figure: dated one, are friends with one, or at times … are one. If you haven't had any contact with the magnificent lshab libneine, worry not - here are his secrets!
The base to any successful Lebanese man: try your best to always curse at anyone and anything, be silent and mysterious when at dinner but very loud when you're drunk, act uninterested in 70 percent of the things you hear, bully at least two people per day, and sit with wide open legs (no knee-on-knee unless you're in cigar mode).
Most importantly, however, ALWAYS discuss the 7areemzzz, even if the closest you've gotten to a female is this morning when you thought you were seducing the Starbucks barista with your witty comments #fail
2. Eyebrows on fleek
Oh you thought only women get them? Nu-uh… All those hours spent at Hamza Hair Salon ain't just for a mere haircut.
Buckets and buckets of gel, wax, gel-wax (it exists), keratin, hair bath oils, paste, tonic, spray, and mousse (does anyone even use that anymore?). So adorable to see those men leave the salon thinking they each have the most unique haircut/hairstyle where as in fact, they all look like something blew up on their heads.
Show 'em off. I mean, if I spent four hours at the gym to work on 'dem pecs, I would also button my shirt down and make sure my chest shows at every chance I get (in addition to the saf2it haw a, of course).
5. Pecs Accessory
What is a built chest without a necklace? I haven't understood the symbolism yet, but it's there.
6. The Holy Trinity
Wallet, cigarettes, and phone (2 of them actually, wa7ad all shighil ).
Can we pass a Lebanese law that requires a minimum age to smoke cigars? Or at least until they learn how to hold them properly?
Ahh the university Z350 phase which turns into the Range Rover, and then eventually transforms into the Daddy-backed Ferrari… Otherwise, keef badna nla2it ?
EVERYTHING - those huge Louis Vuitton shades, the Tod's collection in every color possible (oh my, those orange suede ones), and the H belt that must have been especially created by Hermes in that humungous size for the Lebanese male population.
10. Mr. Rolex
Whether it's dinner or the gym, 3ayb without a Rolex, in addition to seven hundred bracelets that somehow all symbolize something special. An honorable mention to Audemars Piguet for making some progress with the Lebanese man in this aspect.
Is it Chest Day? Is it Legs Day? What I-shirt did you wear today? Any advice on how you think I should balance my food and training? Wait, are you in #beastmode today? Ukh, so many questions, such little Instagram feed...
Happy or pissed off, there ain't no Lebanese man without cursing that involves inserting his sexual organ into basically anything, avec/sans opening.
13. Coz Code
No, you can't just become a coz . It is a status you earn - and gradually you'll come to realize that all the other coz's understand you - they're there for you, through Skybar and White.
14. Summer trip
It's Varna, Mykonos, or Ibiza - choose wisely. Result: a photo of you popping Champagne bottles with Eastern European girls you don't know as your Facebook profile photo.