Arab and Egyptian weddings are about family reunions, lots of ululating, good food, dancing all night long, and a really noisy zaffa that can be deafening.
It's at those big gatherings where the most interesting people reside. If you've never attended an Egyptian wedding ceremony, we can assure you that you're missing out on a lot.
Here are 12 types of people you meet at typical Egyptian weddings:
1. The "Fedee7a" one
This one's loud laugh gets out of control once she hears anything remotely funny. So you better not tell her you find one of the men handsome... unless you want a fully fledged scene.
2. The man who belly dances better than women
You'll find him sitting on the edge of his seat, eagerly waiting for a song suitable for belly dancing to blow people's minds.
He might appear to be shy, but once he is pulled to the dance floor, you'll think to yourself: "Who are you? And what have you done to my friend?"
3. The "3o2balek" one
Egyptian weddings don't count if you don't get at least 50 3o2baleks in one night. *Sigh*
4. The "I came here to find my son a wife" one
Wedding matchmaking just comes with the whole package. So if you don't want to get married, stay away from the aunties!
5. The "I don't know anyone here but I came to dance" one
Just keep the kids away for their own safety...
6. The one who doesn't know what to do with their money
So they will just throw it on the dance floor.
7. The superstitious bride wannabe
She can't wait to be a bride herself and believes in good and bad luck.
Brace yourself for some laughter as she will do it the Egyptian way and pinch the bride in her knee to get married next week.
8. The judgmental one
They keep criticizing the buffet despite them having a mountain of food on their plate. They also think the bride is ugly and the groom in stingy.
9. The "in my wedding..." one
To your unfortunate luck, their wedding was held at the same ballroom last year. So sit back and enjoy the boring wedding after they unfold everything for you... even if you never asked for it.
10. The groom's friends who want to follow his lead and get married too
This gang of friends will stick by the groom on his special day to help with whatever he may need. Picking up the bride's friends/bridesmaids could be one of those tasks.
Maybe that way, they can get to know the single ladies attending and who knows, an engagement party might be on its way.
11. The one who keeps chasing the camera with her smile
They just love attention and make sure they make many appearances in the wedding video.
12. The touchy-feely ones
At one particular moment, the groom will find himself surrounded by fellow men who carry him, throw him in the air, and compete to sexually harass him.
A word of advice: If you're an Egyptian groom, you better watch out!
