House parties, who doesn’t like them? Free food, flowing drinks and a chance to meet all types of people: the good, the bad and the total weridos. But in Dubai, the pool of house party people doesn’t look like any other. Let’s just say it is definitely more divers and more “interesting”.
Steepfeeders, I give you the 11 types of people you will come across at every house party in Dubai.
1. The Arabs pretending to be non-Arabs
In Dubai, it can be tricky to guess people’s nationalities. But it is really hard to swallow when a Middle Eastern looking person with a very thick Palestinian or Egyptian accent tells you: “oh I am Canadian”… I mean, really? REALLY?!
2. The all I can drink crowd
They have a bucket full of drinks on the table and bottles in both hands but they will still ask you “mate, can you get us another one?” Well, thirst is a serious problem and can damage your health if not treated, right?
3. The paranoid lady
(Most likely Middle Eastern) who thinks she is intoxicated after one glass of wine. She might be slightly dizzy but still has the energy and urge to spend 2 hours telling everyone that she is drunk and has to leave soon. Yes, we think she’s annoying too.
4. The politics-driven crowd
They won’t speak to you until you answer some very critical questions: “are you anti or pro? Left or right? Radical or progressive? Vegetarian or vegan? Tabbouleh or Fattoush? ”
5. The hardcore Truth or Dare enthusiasts
A Dubai house party is never complete without those people who see in that game a chance to delve into your little dirty secrets. Their first question will definitely be: “If you had to date someone from this group, who would it be?”
6. The affectionate weirdo
He’ll be casually trying to embrace a girl he just met at the party while she politely (or not) tries to break away from that awkward embrace.
7. The sober ones
Who see and remember EVERYTHING. They are most likely to document your most embarrassing moments with photos and share them on Whatsapp the next day. But don’t hate on them, because they are also most likely to hold your hair while you puke, drive you home or have your back in case of a party fight.
8. The dabke king and belly dance queen
Whatever the song is, he’ll be jumping, squatting and kicking to impress with his dabke moves. She’ll be belly dancing out of tune to an Adele song while wrapping an IKEA blanket around her waist.
9. The after party crowd
To them, a house party is never complete without an after party at Barasti. There, they will fit right in with their fuchsia wigs, oversized dollar sign chains and zebra print jumpsuit.
10. The manakeesh addicts
As soon as the party ends, you’ll see them patrolling the back streets of Sheikh Zayed Road or JBR looking for an open manakeesh joint. Because nothing tastes better then melted cheese at 3 a.m.!
11. The “lost in translation” group
In Dubai, it’s completely normal to have a full conversation with a person without understanding a word they’re saying. I mean, not everyone is an expert in Scottish, Irish, Swahili, Moroccan, South African or French Polynesian accents! But after the third round of drinks, they can all understand each other perfectly well.