For expats in the United Arab Emirates, there are trigger words that send shivers down their spines … These phrases make them want to stick their fingers in their ears and go "la la la" ... They don’t like to hear them ... In fact, they hate hearing them.
So, UAE expats … If you hate to hear those words, I’m going to make you READ them!
1. Etfannashet
Let’s get the worst word out of the way first. It comes from the English word "finished" and means "YOU ARE FIRED" … It’s the scariest word of them all … The mere hint of that word is enough to send any expat on a downward spiral of depression and hopelessness where "happily ever after" doesn’t exist.
2. Accident on Sheikh Zayed Road
The smallest accident on this vital highway can cause serious traffic jams and turn it into a huge parking lot.
3. Financial crisis
A universally hated word that reminds us of dusty abandoned cars, empty roads and half-finished constructions.
4. No valet parking
Imagine arriving to a place wearing high heels or a fancy suit only to be greeted with a "No Valet" sign! Sorry, but we are spoiled expats and we cannot tolerate such nonsense!
5. Self service petrol pump
Do you mean I have to physically get out of my car and fill up my own vehicle? I barely know how to parallel park!
6. We don’t deliver
In Dubai, even a pack of chips can be delivered to your doorstep. So excuse our horrified expression and extreme shock when we hear "no delivery" on the other end of the line.
7. Rain
As much as we love flooding our Snapchat with videos of raindrops on our windows, we are absolutely terrified of the aftermath ... from flooded roads and parking lots, to endless traffic jams.
8. No cash in ATM
Nobody likes to illegally park the car and walk to the ATM in 50 degrees heat only to find out that it is out of cash … #FirstWorldProblems
9. RERA, DEWA, RTA, du, SALIK
All of these abbreviations are a source of headache and stress for expats, let alone the unpleasant sight of the bills they create. No expat wakes up in the morning and says, "oh I can’t wait to go to RERA to renew my Ejari contract!" or "how I love being put on hold by a du costumer care representative!" or "thank you RTA for telling me I have a new fine."
10. VAT tax
Stop sending us links and news about the impending VAT tax in the UAE! We don’t want to see them … We will keep ignoring them and living in denial … Tax? What tax? What does that word even mean?