People will have a million questions to ask when you tell them you're moving back to Lebanon, and some will even be concerned for you.
But once you've moved back, the tables will turn and it's going to be you asking all the questions.
Trust me on this one, you're going to have so many of them.
So many...
1. Why am I always stuck in traffic?
You leave the house thinking you need 10 minutes to get to work and an hour later you're still not even close?
Welcome to Lebanon.
2. Why did they cross that red traffic light?
You stop your car at a red traffic light and another just whizzes by?!
Don't even try to understand, no one ever will.
3. Am I supposed to cross red traffic lights now?
Things can get quite confusing when people honk at you for stopping at a red traffic light.
But the only logical answer to this question will always be: LA2/NO.
So let them honk all they want.
4. Dawle aw motor?
Electricity outages are common in Lebanon, so for a few hours (try several hours) every day we rely on private generators (motors) and it can be hard to figure things out at the beginning.
So here's an easy hack:
Turn your microwave/hairdryer on and if everything goes out... it's motor not dawle, there you go.
P.S: Feel free to pronounce "motor" as moterr. It adds to the charm.
5. How long will it take to save up for my own apartment?
$300,000 for a one bedroom apartment when your monthly salary is $900.
You do the math.
6. Why is everyone always so angry?
"Sakkar rasse" is a phrase you get used to hearing. At first you don't really get it, but as time passes you realize that living in this country can result in minor rage issues.
Maybe it's the lack of public green spaces, the garbage crisis, pollution, corruption, economic difficulties, or political deadlock... Honestly with everything that goes on here, who can blame us for being fed up and angry?
7. Why is the internet so slow? Why does nothing ever load?
Why???? WHYYYY????
8. How will I ever lose weight here?
I once told someone I was trying to eat healthy/lose weight and they said: one lahm b3ajeen a day, keeps the doctor away.
The Lebanese are known for their hospitality, they're also known for their food. Combine the two and you've got people offering to feed you delicious food all the time.
Try saying no to shawarma or teta's kebbe, not as easy as it sounds. So if you're planning on watching your waistline in this country... may the force be with you.
9. Fireworks or gunshots?
People celebrate weddings, graduations and even political speeches with big firework shows.
And sometimes even guns.
*Panic mode on*
10. What am I still doing here?
Sometimes it's all so confusing and you will question a lot of things, including the reason you stay here.
But once you've built a life in this country and once it becomes your home again, you're never going to be able to live anywhere else. You'll slowly learn to deal with it, one day at a time.