The famous question "men wen?" (where are you from?) will never get old in Lebanon.
Regardless of whether or not you do visit the village you hail from, people will always assume facts about you based on georgraphy.
It doesn't really matter what village you come from anyway... because you'll most definitely find these types of people there:
1. The long-living bakers
Your mum, her mum, and your great-grandma have fed their families saj from this baker's foren.
They seem to have outlived anyone else in the village and their one and only life mission is to deliver the yummiest saj, mne2ish, and jrish...
The only con to this is that you have to wake up at 5 A.M. on weekends to avoid the line of people outside their bakery.
2. The professional spies
These old ladies sitting on their balconies should be hired by the CIA for their spying techniques.
They sit all day long waiting for the next prey to walk by for them to activate their judgmental glares.
3. The zoo keepers
These people keep a few animals in their farm - AKA a not-so-big piece of land. They have a couple of goats, around five cats, a few dogs, and occasional rabbits.
Their house will forever be guarded with highly effective pet security.
4. The charity chefs
"YOU GET FOOD AND YOU GET FOOD, EVERYBODY GETS FOOD!!"
This cutest, most generous grandma lives alone with no grandchildren to pamper. So she becomes the whole village's grandma.
She's used to cooking for 20 people and so after her family moves to Beirut or travels, she starts cooking for 50.
5. The war survivors
"Back in our day..." is their go-to conversation launcher.
"Oh, you have a mobile phone? Back in our day, we use to send telegraphs and written messages that wouldn't arrive until after 8 months".
"You go to school by bus? Back in our day, we used to ride donkeys while bullets flew over our heads".
Here's your guilt trip dose for the day.
6. The love birds
Their life goals rely solely on marriage. They go through future partner options like skimming through a catalogue.
You'll see the entire village taking part in the wedding preparations.
7. The matchmakers
There wouldn't be a wedding every other day at the village if it weren't for the infamous matchmakers.
They work nonstop to set you up with their kids, even if they live on the other side of the planet.
8. The braggers
These people's children are in a foreign country, which automatically leads them to a funny conclusion: we are superior.
"Aslan ana wlede bi Afri2ia" (my kids are in Africa).
Well, we hope they're happy and making you rich.
9. The down talkers
"Ah, you're from Beirut" - a phrase is usually accompanied by a distinct judgmental, discouraging tone.
Being from Beirut, according to these people, means you speak weirdly, act weirdly, and like weird things.
"What's a Kylie Jenner and why do you own all her lipsticks?"
"You Beiruties don't have a sense of respect for traditions!"
10. The heat highjackers
During wintertime, these people emerge like hunters on a mission to find the nearest heat source... or in this case, the fireplace or electric heater at their neighbor's house.
They'll spend entire days at someone's house just to avoid adding digits to the electricity bill or using up their wood reserve.
But no one minds. Villagers are welcoming and helpful.