8 ways a Muslim Arab marriage is a lot like a security screening

The first step to guarantee you're on the right path to a marriage is getting the family's approval - meaning the bride needs to get on the groom's family's good side, and vice versa. 

This is a bigger challenge for the bride than the groom. Because if the groom is a "doctoor" or "ibn doctoor"  or "mhandiss" or "ibn mhandiss", then no girl is ever good enough for that kinda guy #Arabmoms.

She may come to you with something sweet like "mitil benti serte habibite," a mere three seconds after meeting you. Don't take it at face value, and don't let your guard down! There is more to come. 

The second step is a formal meeting between the groom and the "men" of the other side. They arrive to meet him like an army battalion or a security detail. It's full of niceties (diplomacy) on the outside, but it brims with extreme scrutiny on the inside. Basically, mukhabarat in diplomats' suits.  

The bride isn't present in this part of the meeting. 

It's usually a huge family get together - where the two parties act like one big happy family.

 It's kind of like when you're weighing your luggage at the airport. Too heavy(t2al dam)? Well, then it's not going through. 

This usually happens at the bride's house where the groom's family arrives  to ask for the bride's hand in marriage. This is normally a formality, because at this stage, the union is almost a done deal.

An exchange of poetic praise follows between the Kubar (literally translated as the 'bigs') of the family. 

Then everyone silently recites Surat al Fat'ha, because there is a new security check here: God. 

Mabrook! Onto the next stage. 

Yup, this is really just done so that the couple can go out together without worrying who may see them. 

In short, it's the public's blessing. The man can finally be referred to as "khateebi" rather than "boyfriend." Society approval stamp received. 

The woman is in a separate room with the Sheikh and her ladies ... and the man is in separate room with the Sheikh and his fellas. Marriage contract signed. So intense. 

This is an all-girl zone where the bride can finally heave a breath of relief after the rigorous screening. This is a great opportunity to 'fish khil2ik' (let off some steam) and realize that the whole thing was more of a comedic affair.  

The big day comes--yes, yet another big day-- and there is a final security check. 

This time the object of scrutiny is one thing only--the bridal gown. You can be sure that the lady guests will examine it down to its very seams.