Real life superheroes do not come in capes and super sleek vehicles. Real life superheroes are the ones who do not give up to mediocrity. Instead they develop extra-sensory skills to help them get through with life in one piece, especially in a place like Egypt, a very fertile land for superheroes.
1. We’re invincible (at least we think we are)
We inspect the swish and swoosh of the vehicles speeding their way through the deadly highway, be it Autostrad or Sahrawy. But death doesn’t scare us. We wait for the right moment, and not always when there is no car in sight. The trick is in seeing beyond the driver’s glare. We can predict—maybe it’s a sparkle in their eye? a glassy stare?—if s/he’s gonna hit the brakes or shamelessly run us over.
2. We defy gravity
We stand in public transport, be it a bus, subway or train, without holding on to anything – because gravity ain’t got nothing on us. The driver grinds to a halt, he swerves left and right … but we’re completely unmoved, literally. Public transportation works great for leg days, really sculpts our calf muscles!
3. Selling stuff is nothing short of an art form
They lug their big bags into the subway car. The doors slide shut, and a monotonic chant issues from their mouths to lure passengers into buying their stuff. These merchants (sometimes they're beggars with paper strips telling us tragic stories) recite their poetry while shoving what they have to offer into your lap. They’re quick at describing their products, whipping up “the story behind them” without a second’s thought. Sometimes they’ll broach through kussa on a moving car as they exercise superpower #1—gravity defiance—just to give you a product demo of a man'ar (corer).
4. Disappearing acts
There are entire street markets dedicated to the black market…and it’s not a stretch to say that there’s a little bit of black magic involved, too. These markets will dispatch a young boy to “keep watch.” He screams “‘hakoooomaaaah” when the police appear, and just like that: a full blown market place disappears into thin air. It’s the stuff of Disney, really.
5. Our bodies are temples … of merchandise
We breeze in and out of security checks at airports. You can’t tell at first, but we’re carrying everything from cutlery, coffee machines, hand vacuum cleaners in huge amounts to sell or give out as gifts to newly wedded relatives. Our cutting-edge wrapping skills that basically makes things “disappear” would put Houdini to shame.
6. Taxi drivers walk political tightropes like it’s nobody’s business
Taxi drivers not only brave some of the craziest traffic jams, they can also get through the most dangerous political discussions. They can rant for hours, always keeping an eye for a political blindspot, and swerving around religious sensitivity potholes. Who knows … the passenger might be a cop, or mukhabarat! Take it from me: taxi drivers are great diplomats.
7. We squeeze our cars into two-inch spaces
Our engines roar and we jump from zero to 120 km/hour while we overtake two incredibly slow trucks in a busy road by breezing between them. It takes guts and true Egyptian blood for superpower like this. Microbus divers are masters at this one.
8. Our looks are so divine, we nearly all look like some celebrity
