Your 20s are said to be the best years of your life. But, if you're Arab, your 20s are often confined to a whole lot of, well, confusion.
You're simultaneously treated as both an adult and child -- a common trait among most Arab parents (probably written down in some ancient Arab parenting manual that we can't find).
There's a lot of meddling, a whole lot of anxiety, and if you're a female, a whole lot of sexism (let's call a spade a spade).
Here's what it all comes down to.
1. "Mish be Khatrik" - Not your choice
Before you ask, "Why don't you just move out?" You gotta know it's just not that simple.
In fact its really not an option for most of us. Yes, I do make my own money, and therefore am at liberty to do what I please, but being disowned by my family is not really at the top of my priorities. At least not yet.
Here's what talking about moving out would sound like:
Mom: "My only wish is that my children would leave me alone."
Me: "When I've saved enough money, I'll move out."
Mom: "Eh, mish be khatrik!"
Me: "But, you just said-"
Mom: "Don't talk back at me!"
2. The truth about curfews
At 22, I don't really have a "curfew." It's more like being called every hour past 12 till I come home, with 2 am being way too late.
This, of course, leads to some embarrassing moments, especially among friends who do live alone (by some mercy of God).
"You live under our roof, you play by our rules." That's what my parents would say every time the topic arises. And, no, it won't change by the time you're in your 30s -- not even your 40s.
3. Adulting on the weekends
I mentioned confusion and sexism right at the top of this post. And for good reason.
As a night owl, the weekends are a perfect time for sleep indulgence. But not for my parents, and not when I should (in their opinion) be learning essential home-keeping tricks.
Mom: "How will you learn to do anything if you're sleeping till 2 pm? How will you raise your kids? How will you make breakfast for your husband?"
Me: *makes comment about sexism*, groans, tries to suffocate self with pillow, goes back to sleep*
*No, she doesn't wake my brother up.
4. Master's Degree = Freedom?
Mother-daughter relations can be tough. If you're Arab, they're bound to be tougher. Asking you to be more homely is one thing, asking you to excel in your studies is another.
As I've mentioned above, chatting with my mother can be exhilarating.
Sarcasm aside, not one conversation ends without my mother telling me to check out colleges so I can get my master's degree and finally make her dreams come true.
Maybe, when I get my masters I'll be able to stay out past 2? Maybe?
5. Complicated relationship with work
Arab parents tend to think of their children's vocations as some sort of amusement, a pastime. To them, we are "kids" doing "kid stuff" on the weekdays, and no salary can prove them wrong.
Some (like my parents) can take your career so lightly that they even ask you to take a day off so you can go on family trips to the mall. Yes, you read that right. THE MALL.
And, no matter how many times you tell them you need to work, it won't register. Just breathe. This too shall pass.
6. Help me but don't help me
Arab parents can be a little moody. Actually, moody is an understatement. Living with them can be an emotional roller coaster.
They want you to do chores when you're there, but when you do offer to help they often reject you.
The best example I can think of is when my mother moans and complains about my not being there in the kitchen with her. But, when I do venture into her cooking lair, she kicks me out.
Go in, get kicked out.
Stay out, get guilt trips.
There's absolutely no winning, and you thinking otherwise will only prolong the suffering.