Lebanese weddings are the worst kind of weddings. Forget the fact the bride and groom spend a fortune on it, it's the other things that count. There is an insane amount of pressure to look perfect down to the T ... because if you don't, you'll be the talk of the village.

1. You receive a very tacky invitation card that you spend at least two days criticizing

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Omg! Nyaaa2! Shefte el card? Eh sheft! Ana no way aamel heik card. Stay classy guys!

2. You've already made up your mind that you're a zillion times better looking than the bride ... but you need to look A+ zillion times better

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No you didn't. Sit down girl!

3. You insist on spending at least $500 on your hair at Joe Raad's hair salon

Because spending more = better hairstyle and color ...

4. Then you spend another $500 on an unbelievably ugly and complicated dress

Aww!! That's so cute! Shaklek metl l trayya! Maybe if we put you in the middle of the room, bitdawwi!

5. Nine hours later, you finally go to that wedding looking like a drag queen

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Lebanese women are borrowing drag queen makeup and applying it exactly as it is ...