The Dubai to Abu Dhabi trip was my regular commute for a period of five years and one that eventually led me to quit a job I really liked. I just couldn’t spend one more hour of my life listening to horrendous radio shows, fighting heavy eyelids and crossing my fingers for an accident-free trip any much longer!
So, if you are one of those troopers, who muster enough courage everyday to throw themselves on that 140 km long road, then you must have had one or two of these thoughts while navigating your way between the two emirates:
1. What makes you so special? THIS IS NOT YOUR DADDY’S ROAD!
This is what you will shout when an arrogant nutter cuts in front of you after blinding your eyes with xenon lights ... strong enough to light up Umm al Quwain!
2. Oh crap!! The car is running out of petrol
Because now you’ll have to add no less than 20 minutes to your already long journey ... thanks to the “quick” and “efficient” service in the petrol station (yes, I’m being sarcastic).
3. Great!! Another accident
The most frustrating part is when you get out of the bottleneck and discover there is absolutely nothing! That’s your cue to start cursing the rubberneckers!
4. Who hired them?!
That’s what you keep asking yourself as you listen to the weird voices and, well, noise (for lack of a better word) blasting out of the UAE’s radio. Did I mention that their programs are hosted by people with incredibly annoying/boring accents? I mean that guy on Dubai Eye can talk about a freaking pencil for HOURS NONSTOP.
5. Is it ok if I close my eyes for just a few seconds?
That’s also the moment you start questioning the effectiveness of caffeine. You start to wonder if it is just a global hoax of colossal magnitude.
6. “FOG MY LIFE”!!
As if UAE drivers needed one more reason to drive like lunatics on the roads! Just add a little fog and see road rage taken to another level!
7. I wish I owned Careem!
Wouldn’t it be nice if you were the owner of a fleet of cars and drivers who could drive you around and park your car too? In your face busy Abu Dhabi parkings!!
8. Oh look! A camel!
Only in the UAE!!
9. I spot a police car!
I better start driving like a normal, civilized person and use signals … and if I’m feeling generous I’ll even give way!
10. IT IS CALLED THE FAST LANE FOR A REASON!!
That’s your automatic response to that tiny driver inside a 1990 Nissan Sunny ... with rolled down windows ... who hogs the speed lane at the speed of 10 kmph!
11. Why can’t Dubai afford trees?
You know you left Abu Dhabi and entered Dubai when long stretches of sand replace lush trees for views!
12. I’ll just hold it till we reach Al Samha
Because that’s the cleanest restroom on that commute. And who can resist a chocolate croissant from the bakery there?
13. Does RTA really give fines for applying mascara while driving?
Said every woman who drives to work on that road every morning ...
14. Oh man!! I swear I was driving under 140 kmph!
Yes, yes… of course you were!
15. To get a Burger King, or not to get a Burger King
Those sinful calories are the perfect remedy to road rage.
16. Another Hamaki song!
Did anybody ever notice how many times Mohamed Hamaki’s songs get played on the UAE Arabic radio stations? How much did that guy pay them?!
17. One day I’ll stop at The Last Exit…
And try all the food trucks there! But for now, I’ll just keep on driving.